Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
