I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
