i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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