38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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