They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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