Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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