if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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