I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
