Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I am available for nakedness
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
