yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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