dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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