Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
worst night to have a conscience
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
