In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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