Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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