i don't like sucking hair
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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