The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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