Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
