I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
