I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
