I heard we made out
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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