There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
