No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
