so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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