Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
is wine microwaveable?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
