Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
