i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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