id be glad to
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
