I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
