she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
