tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
