Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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