you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
