I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
