Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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