I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Your dad touched me again.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
