Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
