Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
