I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
