I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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