I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
