My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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