i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize