it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
