it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
