Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
