I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
