but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
