So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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