We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
