I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
