well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
