Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
