Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
